If you haven't seen/finished watching Death Note, you probably shouldn't read this.

I saw the ending a few hours ago. I didn't want to, really; the whole series saw an exponential increase in suckitude starting when L died. I was more than willing to pretend that the plot ended right there.

That ending would have been real. It would have been complete. The climax at that point is absolute; we're emotionally drained, and there are no unanswered questions left. With L...

Dromiceius

I couldn't read this story without thinking of Final Fantasy VII.

As the story in the game goes, if you sit very still, you can hear man's environmental abuse manifested in an ethereal wailing, emitted by the planet.

It's silly- trite, even, to think of this story as some sort of parallel, perhaps manifested of a slightly higher stratum of the earth than FF7's lifestream... and yet, if our own zeitgeist were so manifested, wouldn't this discordant, angry shrieking be...

Dromiceius

Anti-smoking legislation should have skipped all those health warnings and forced the tobacco companies to call their products "cocks."

They're pretty phallic to begin with. Just imagine if all the innuendo in the slogans were made a touch more literal...

Virginia Slims Women Cocks
Slogans: It's a Woman's Thing

Strand Cocks
Advertising slogan: You're never alone with a Strand

Doral Cocks
Slogan: Taste Me!...

Dromiceius

One thing I've noticed in the last several years, is that there's a direct correlation between me talking to stupid people, and me becoming stupid. It's absurd. Like getting sucked into daytime soap operas. It's neurotoxic, clearly.

Stupid people care more about seeming to be intelligent to make up for their being mentally retarded. They use spurious reasoning because they're busy being on that wavelength, even though the people around them may not be so concerned about primitive,...

Dromiceius

In my endeavor to master six programming languages, I've set up a number of sub-projects. Some are more ambitious than others, some require other skills that I ought to have learned already.

It's my intention to create as one of these projects a short, sweet adventure game in C++, using the OpenGL and SDL APIs. Of course, I've intended to do that dozens of times, but it's never really come to anything. The reason is that in all instances, I've failed to create a narrative that I'm...

Dromiceius