Inkling

I miss my baby. Maybe I deserve to be left, maybe not. Doesn't matter if I am willing to change - the world is pale and tasteless without him. Nothing shines, nothing grows, nothing makes me love myself. I don't know if I'll be writing anymore, I don't know if I will have anything else to say. I love you Aylastar. For as long as my heart beats I will miss you no matter what anyone says. I miss your arm around me while we watch Futurama, I miss your kisses, I miss taking off your glasses after...

The sky is falling! My life seems to be falling apart around me. But wait, I've never build it up so I suppose there isn't much to fall. I grind to dust the support held out to me then look down at it, unidentifiable and allow myself to feel alone. "No more of this," half my brain screams while the other drowns it out with, "Things musn't change."

I know this doesn't seem very informative to those reading it, and I do offer an apology for my lack of precision....

I wasn't having problems with this particular peer group (I left Myspace, Facebook, Final Fantasy Online, even stopped checking my email and buddy lists); in fact this is one place I tend to find solace and like-minded individuals. I was just overwhelmed by other things that were going on in my life. A dark lonely place was just a reference to a depression I fall into now and again. I didn't mean that being alone is torture in itself, just when I feel as bad as I did I tend to be self...

Apparently some people mistook my last post to be a suicide note of sorts. It was not meant to be. It was meant more to express the feelings I had that caused my recent and future lack of interaction with my peers. Please do not worry about it, as I meant no harm. I apologize for any worry I have caused and will try to be more literal in my future messages, if I decide to write any. I have just been going through a lot and it has overwhelmed me so instead of breaking down, I chose to...

I was pretty psyched about trying to have a social life again. Not that I ever wrote off my friends - I just got scared and hid from everything including them, unless they needed help in which case my heart would somehow pull me thru my fear. It seems that this was, perhaps, a bad idea. I overwhelmed myself with friends and just ended up hurting myself or hurting others or others hurt me. I will always be there for my friends, and think of them often. I will always love them, although...