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Old 01-19-2021, 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted by stundie View Post
The headline read.....
"Pope Sues his Doctor for Prescribing Amphetamines"

She read the story, and was amazed to discover that the pope had recently gone to his doctor complaining of aches and pains that made it hard for him to stand up and greet all his thousands of adoring fans when they came to see him for Sunday mass. He'd even been feeling too lethargic to want to perform the mass. His doctor had promised him that amphetamines would give him tons of energy and make him forget his pain, so he wouldn't have that problem any more.

The treatment had worked. But to the pope's later embarrassment, the pills had put him on such a high that after greeting his masses of fans, he'd invited them all to a party he'd decided to host, where he'd stripped naked and danced around Vatican City, singing at the top of his voice, and encouraging all his fans to follow him. He'd heartily recommended that they take all their clothes off too. Some did.

He'd had so much fun that he did the same thing the following week. And during the masses he led, he threw his head back and guzzled down entire bottles of communion wine, and led the congregation in bawdy songs about Jesus going away for dirty weekends with Mary Magdalene.

He was thoroughly enjoying himself, till a big group of cardinals knocked on the door of the Vatican one day and made an official complaint, threatening to force him to resign. And journalists started ringing him up to ask him what was going on, and requesting permission to come and film his Sunday antics.

He was upset about that, and worried he was going to be blamed for his shocking behaviour. So he decided to blame his doctor instead and sue him. He reluctantly stopped taking the amphetamines. But when he went back to feeling as bad as he had before, he worried that if he sued his doctor, the doctor wouldn't give him something else to help with his problem.

But then he came up with the idea of microdosing the amphetamines. He did, and he found it helped, without turning him into a maniacal party animal. But he decided to sue his doctor anyway, because he just had to escape the blame for his bad behaviour by blaming someone else.

When the doctor reading that story had finished it, she started to feel a bit concerned that she might be sued herself, perhaps by the old lady she'd just seen, if using the fireworks she'd prescribed caused an accident. She imagined the story getting in the papers, with headlines like,

"Burning Bum Doctor Prescribes Fireworks to Patient"
or, "Doctor's Prescription Blows Old Lady's Bottom Off"
or, "Doctor Sued After Prescription Causes House Fire"

She wondered whether she ought to phone the old lady up soon and ask her to come in again and prescribe something different for her, telling her not to use the fireworks after all. But she thought it would be a pity, since they seemed such a good solution.

After thinking about it for a little while, she decided to ...
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